To Ethan (You were so not you today)

Dear Ethan:

Are you ok today? Did you get dumped by your imaginary girl friend? Or did someone steal your laisee money? You know you were just so not you today. Where's my calm and cheerful baby? Let's see what you did today:

- You started getting cranky right after you woke up. You didn't want to sit on the high-chair while mom was reading news on internet. You usually do!
- When I put you on the swing chair, you yelled at me wanting me to hold you.
- When I held you, you reached your arm to the floor-standing lamp trying to pull it down.
- You kicked away all the toys on your play mat.
- I put you back on the high-chair, you cried.
- I put your back on the swing chair, you cried and tried to slipped your legs out of the strap.
- I tried to calm you down by giving you your 2nd bottle of the day an hour earlier, you cried.
- I tried to feed you lunch a bit early, you wanted your bottle back.
- (This one is nothing to do with you) I was extremely horrified by a bum when we took our daily after-lunch walk. He did actually swore at me as I ignored him.
- You only slept for 15 minutes during your usual 1-hour afternoon nap. What? 15 minutes? I didn't even get my breath back.
- Maybe your diaper wasn't well wore, or you had too much liquid that even your excessive crying couldn't drain out, you wet your bodysuit, pants, bed sheet and mattress cover. When I was getting so frustrated that I needed to do the laundry again, it took me a total of 30 minutes to unzip the mattress cover. Not to mention I wish I had an extra arm to press you down on the changing pad so that you would not keep rolling over. I haven't been sweating so much like that for a long time.
- You made me forget my lunch.
- On top of your usual daily 10-gallon drool, you drooled another 10 today. I needed to change 5 bibs and 2 bodysuits on you.
- Actually you needed another 2 bibs today as you vomited milk and fish congee on each of them.
- And actually you needed another bodysuit as you peeped right after I removed your dirty diaper. After I took off your wet cloth and dried your body, before I put on a new diaper, you peeped again. This time you wet the changing pad cover. Can't you hold a little bit or do it in one go earlier?
- You kept me dancing, jumping and singing for almost an hour when I were cooking dinner.
- When I was almost done bathing you, you pooped in your bath. I needed to give you another bath.
- At the end of the day, I smelled like a combination of sweat, drool, rotten milk and fishy fish.

I truly admire those moms whose babies are colicky and grumpy. Their every single day is practically like this filled with baby tantrums.

Ethan, I sincerely hope the day like today would never happen again. Or you'd better hire another mom. But I know you were just a little moody. You will be fine tomorrow.

I love you.

Mommy